


Ducking Drunk

by MyFavoriteSong



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Carl is a good brother, Collateral damaged peanuts, Drunk!Ian, Humor, I hate when autocorrect changes my texts to ducking bc i literally never say that, Ian endorses a no pants lifestyle, Ian just really loves Mickey, potential character assassination of several beloved cartoons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFavoriteSong/pseuds/MyFavoriteSong
Summary: I just really love when one or both of them are drunk and silly, ok?  And also, Carl is my second (third if Mickey counts) favorite Gallagher, so he got to come along.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	Ducking Drunk

It was less the incessant knocking on the door that woke Mickey up and more the obnoxious giggling from outside the door. He rolled his eyes as he heard his boyfriend definitely NOT helping to get the locked door open. He could tell Ian was drunk, but he had made Carl swear to keep an eye on him and not let either of them overdo it. So, he figured by the giggles that Ian was just on the right side of tipsy, where his meds would allow just one or two drinks to turn him into Chicago’s shittiest stand up comedian, without praying for the end of the world in the morning.

“Keep your fucking panties on, I’m coming,” Mickey groaned, pulling himself up off the couch he had fallen asleep on. It wasn’t (entirely) accidental that he was sleeping in the living room, but Mickey would sooner punch someone in the throat than admit that he couldn’t sleep alone these days. Ian and Mickey had both been invited for a night out with Carl to celebrate his acceptance to the police academy. It was a big deal, and really, Mickey had wanted to go. Okay, not so much wanted, but was amenable to the idea. He didn’t hate Carl, and he was proud of him for getting his shit together. The fact remained though, that his ass had to be up at fuck all o’clock for work, and no Gallagher was going to make him miss out on sleep. Well, one giant ginger one might, but from the sounds of it, that particular Gallagher had celebrated enough for both of them. 

When Mickey finally pulled open the door, Ian stumbled into the room like he had been leaning against it, one hand grasped around Carl’s shoulders and a handful of peanut shells in the other. Carl half dragged Ian the last few steps into his apartment, no worse for the wear it seemed, having been the guest of honor at their two person party.

“I delivered him home in one piece, as promised,” Carl told Mickey as they both got Ian settled onto the couch. “And before you start giving me shit, yes, he had two beers, and yes I’m sure, because I only had two, too. I tried to get him to eat some bar snacks to soak up the beer, but he just started jamming peanuts into his pockets, and…” As if “peanuts” was the magic word, Ian’s eyes sprung open, a huge grin splitting his face, and he thrusted the fistful of now soggy peanuts at Mickey. 

“Babe, look they had your favorite! I brought them home for you, Mick! I’m sorry you didn’t get to come out, Mick. Mick, I missed you Mick! Peanuts for my peanut...I mean, nuts for my favorite nuts”, Ian sang, laughing at his own attempt at a sexy joke, content in saying his man's name as many times as possible in a sentence. Ian reached both arms up, making grabby hands at Mickey, effectively dropping his peanut stash before distracting himself with the movement of his own fingers. 

“He sang some song about ducks the whole way here. So, yeah, good luck with that,” Carl called out as he rushed out the door. There was no telling if Mickey would be charmed or annoyed by drunk Ian, and Carl had no intention of sticking around to find out. “Later guys! Don’t puke on your shoes, bro!”

“Ya okay there, Red?” Mickey laughed at his very drunk, very distracted, very adorable boyfriend, once they were alone in their apartment again. He leaned down to take Ian’s brown work boots off his feet, and start undressing him so they could properly head to bed. 

“Mick! Your name rhymes with dick!” Ian whispered loudly, erupting into another fit of giggles as Mickey pulled his socks off and started on his belt.

“Mick’s dick, Mick dick… hahahaha McDick! That should be on the drive-thru menu! I’d order that big, juicy McDick! Mick’s trying to get at MY McDick!” Ian cracked up as Mickey tugged his jeans off. Mickey smirked as he helped his big drunk goofball stand up and start heading towards their bedroom.

“Why don’t you tell me more about these ducks you were singing to your brother about” Mickey tried to distract him, not particularly wanting to point out that they should both be keeping their mcdicks in their mcpants tonight.

“It wasn’t about ducks, Mickey,” Ian raised his eyebrows, as though offended at the ridiculousness that he would be singing about ducks. “It was Duck TALES...remember that cartoon? We had an old video of it growing up that Fiona had taped from the tv when she was little. Duck tales, WOO OOO! Something, something, something, something, Duck tales, WOO OOO!” Ian sang directly into Mickey’s ear, which of course was justification enough for him to toss Ian pretty gracelessly face first onto the bed.

“Oww, I landed on my mcdick! You remember, Mick, there were the three nephew ducks and their cranky old, Northside uncle Scrooge? Scrooge McDuck? Scrooge McDick! Hahahaha! You’re like my own grumpy sexy cartoon duck. I think Scrooge McDick didn’t wear pants though, Mickey. Better take those pants off, my sexy cartoon boyfriend!” Ian couldn’t contain the giggles at this point, but he snuggled under the blankets while Mickey stood next to the bed, his eyebrows in full WTF position.

“I’m not a cartoon, Firecrotch. And you're ducking drunk.” Mickey was amused at his little joke, but moreso with Ian’s drunken ramblings, even if they had kind of gone off the deep end at some point. He hoped Ian remembered all of this conversation tomorrow, because he had every intention of giving him as much shit as possible for the cartoon comparison. Secretly, he loved Ian like this though, all loose limbs and silly conversation. He had barely settled under the blankets beside his redheaded dork before Ian plastered himself to Mickey’s side, plopping his long arm across the still smirking man’s waist. Mickey leaned into him, smacking a kiss on top of his head, and smiling down at the man he loves so much.

“Love you, Mickey,” Ian yawned, “Even if you don’t want to be a cartoon. Even though you’re all cute like one. Even if you want to wear pants sometimes.”

“Love you, too, Kim Possible” Mickey couldn’t pass up the obvious shot to play along.

“Aww, Mick, that’s my favorite ginger cartoon! And you can be my Ron Stoppable. I guess that makes Carl Rufus, but don’t tell him…”

“IAN!”

“Yeah, Mick?”

“GO TO SLEEP!”

A few minutes of quiet passed, and Mickey thought he had finally giggled himself to sleep, but just as he started to feel his own eyes drooping, he could hear Ian humming in the dark, “M-I-C...K-E-Y...M-O-U…”

“Gallagher, if you promise to never finish that sentence, I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow.”

Ian smiled in the dark, “...Can I have Mick muffins?”

Mickey finally pulled him closer and shut him up the only way he knew how. And man, were they hungry by the morning. Mickey didn't even mind being late for work.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dipping my toes back into the idea of writing, hoping I will get my shit together to finish the fic I started 84 years ago.  
> So, here we go.  
> Also, I hope that the special secret shout out that is included reaches the person that it is intended for ;)  
> For anyone not familiar with the earworm that is the Duck Tales theme, please enjoy this video of the adorable Brendon Urie performing it: https://youtu.be/eYf1IKFNHgM
> 
> Please stay ducking safe out there! Muah!


End file.
